Monday, April 13, 2009

Fun with the Goobermint


I was out washing the cars on Saturday morning. We live at the very end of a dead end street. A small white pickup truck drove slowly down the road. They stopped in front of two different houses, both across the street from us. The driver and passenger seemed to be casing the houses. No one had a yard sale going, so there wasn't much reason for them to be casing the places. After the second house, they came to the end of the street and did their best to turn around on the dead-end without actually pulling into any one's drive way.

About ten minutes later, they came back down the street, repeating their earlier stopping points. Once they made the end of the street, the driver parked the truck, left it running and got out and headed my way. He identified himself and asked me if the house across the way had anyone living in the building in the back.

I decided to have some fun. I told him no. That was a two story meth lab. And the building in the back yard of the other house, the converted garage, was storage for the finished product. If he went back and knocked three times really fast and then said "Orangutan", they'd give him a free sample. But if he knocked too slow, they shoot first. If he wanted to try the coke, to knock five times real slow and then say "Hillary's my hottie", they'd score a free coke blow. If they knocked eight times real slow, and said "NASCAR sucks doode", they'd score some top grade weed.

By this point, his eye's were spinning in his head. I told him I was sort of busy washing my F250 truck.

He was a census worker.


No, I really didn't tell him all those fibs. But I thought about it.

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