Tuesday, April 1, 2008

Over or under for toilet paper?

I was raised in a military family. Mom ruled the roost, as dad was away a LOT. She trained me well. Really, she did. I do all sorts of household chores. However, I wasn’t trained to put down the toilet seat. When I was little, it was just one of those things that wasn’t expected, yet. When I got older, I either shared a bathroom with my sister or had my own. Sharing with a sister, wasn’t too bad. I just didn’t care what she wanted! Toilet seat down? Forget it, your problem. When we got into high school, we both had our own bathrooms and so I didn’t care. Same with college. When I got married, this was one item which the wife needed to train me in. Had to. One of those wifely things that she had to accomplish. I’m not sure why, as we always have our own bathrooms. She rarely uses mine. Only when a kid is parked in hers, does she borrow mine. So, after we get married, she takes it on as a mission to train me in the putting-down-of-the-seat. I cave in and get used to it. Two years after we got married, we moved and I got to build a free standing shop. I put a bathroom in it. I leave the seat UP all the time! I WIN!!!!

Now for the subject at hand. I like the TP with the paper free end rolling off the TOP of the roll. This makes the most sense to me. You place your hand on the very paper that you will detach and use. You pull out or down and off it spins. My wife doesn’t care which way it goes. Why is that? In the interest of domestic tranquility, I “learned” to put down a toilet seat, even when I’m the only one using that bathroom. Anyway, sometimes my wife or kids have to change out the roll. No, I think only the wife does this. You know how kids work, they check that sort of thing FIRST and move on to another room if there is no paper. Let someone else, a parent, deal with placing on new TP. So here is why it doesn’t make sense to put the TP on and let the paper come off the bottom, wall side. First, you reach over and pull and nothing happens! It just keeps winding itself onto the roll. SO, you have to reach UNDER the roll, where you can’t see the loose end anywhere. Sort of this blind touchy-feely deal looking for the paper. Next, you ram your hand right INTO the wall, as the loose end, if it is hanging down, is right next to the wall. I have thought to use this to my advantage. Next time the paper is handing down at the wall, then go get my hands all greasy on one of the cars. Make sure I get that smeared on the wall. When I get in trouble for that, just point out that IF SOME PEOPLE WOULD DO IT RIGHT (that would be my way), then my greasy hand would not have hit the wall.

You can also have this very same discussion in regards to paper towels. We’ve avoided it by having the holder keep the paper standing straight up.

I just forget it and put the roll on with the paper loose on top.

Since this is a political year, I think we voters have the right to know where the candidates stand, or sit, on this issue.

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