Fun at the DMV - Part One

Don’t you just love dealing with your local Department of Motor Vehicles (DMV)? I guess it is what we should get used to if we have government run health care. About ten years back, my state decided to allow us to avoid going in. We just had to add a single dollar to the amount, and they would mail us either the window sticker, or entire new license plates. I thought that was well worth the dollar. They could avoid my presence. I get to bribe a state official and avoid standing in one of their lines. It works great, most of the time.

About two years back, I got notified to renew my truck. It included the statement that my plates were a number of years old, so they would issue me new ones. I mailed in the form, proof of my insurance and the check, plus the dollar. A week or two later, I get an envelope with the form in it and stapled to it is my new window sticker. I think, great, just wait for the bigger envelope with the actual license plates in them. Now I keep the sticker up on my dresser waiting for the month to change over. It changes, and still no plates. I wait another week and call them up. They tell me to bring the sticker by, because something is wrong. So I take the receipt, the proof of insurance, drivers license, the sticker they mailed, and head into the office. The one that I bribed them a buck so I’d not have to stand in their line. I arrive, wait in line and finally get to the window. I explain that they mailed me the sticker, but I never got the physical metal plate. She doesn’t “get” it and has to go get a supervisor. The battle-axe supervisor shows up and tells ME that someone must have stolen the plate. Gee, you think? Then, she tells me that when SHE does this, she mails the plate and sticker together. Gee, you think that would save the cost of dual mailing? She then tells the clerk that she needs to do a “replacement schedule” and get me a new plate and sticker. Supervisor then heads back to her newspaper and cola. Clerk gets all busy typing, stapling, etc. She gets all the paperwork ready and then announces that I just need to pay the $4 for “replacement”. I’m standing there going “what? Either the state didn’t mail them, as your supervisor pointed out, or they got lost or stolen in the mail. I’ve not lost anything and should not have to pay any replacement fee”. She bristles up her back and reiterates that they have to charge me. I then inform her that I’d already paid the $1 bribe and they should at least knock that off. Nope, I need to pay up. After about five minutes of arguing with the robot, I yank out a few dollars and tell her to just give me my plate and sticker and let me out of there. She does so. Except by then, our loud conversation has awaken the supervisor from her nap and she heads over and tells the clerk to run me down and then REFUND the replacement fee! Another transaction! After about thirty minutes, I've paid $4 for something I should not have had to, been refunded said amount, am still out the $1 bribe I had originally paid to avoid this mess. But I do have a new window sticker and don't have to deal with this, on my truck, for another year.